


The Pain He Deserves

by wrongaboutme



Series: The darkness in us [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Consent Issue, Internalized Homophobia, Light Bondage, M/M, Master/Servant, Punishments, Rape/Non-con Elements, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Whipping, it is about control, mention of slavery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-08-11
Packaged: 2019-05-10 11:19:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14735999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wrongaboutme/pseuds/wrongaboutme
Summary: Alec loves routine because he prefers things go as he has imagined. However, he has no freedom in this routine. No choices, no opinion. His parents organize everything for him remotely while they do their trades in the city centre. Alec is the eldest and thus, the heir of the Lightwoods empire. He is supposed to marry a nice girl with similar social standing, produce children, and expand their family business. He is told to be the good son, the perfect example for his sister and brother to follow. He has responsibilities and obligations. His only purpose is to follow orders.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story tells from the perspective of Alec. It sets in an alternative universe, something like a middle-age era but not really. I am not familiar with Western history, so the titles like sir/lady are probably misused.
> 
> Please read the tags carefully. They mostly appear in the second chapter.

Alec's family is just like the rest of other noble families in Idris, a city oversees the ocean with endless mountains on the back. They have a castle with a huge garden in the suburb, doing trades with nearby small ports and countries, with many servants working for them. The Lightwoods parents are famous for their cruel business practice and their disregards of other people's welfare. They are of conservative minds, thinking that their children must receive best education and not to be mixed with the commoners. As a result, Alec and his siblings have been locked inside the mansion with personal guards and studying under Hodge, their private tutor. Occasionally they are allowed out for festivals or attending parties organized by their business associates. The rest of the time, they are kept under close watch. Alec's daily routine consists of waking up at 8 for breakfast, doing various of training (like weaponry, hand to hand combat), lunch at 1, then follows by studying history and literature. At night, he is left with reading materials for the next day. 

Alec loves routine because he prefers things go as he has imagined. However, he has no freedom in this routine. No choices, no opinion. His parents organize everything for him remotely while they do their trades in the city centre. Alec is the eldest and thus, the heir of the Lightwoods empire. He is supposed to marry a nice girl with similar social standing, produce children, and expand their family business. He is told to be the good son, the perfect example for his sister and brother to follow. He has responsibilities and obligations. His only purpose is to follow orders.

He keeps telling himself that for his whole life.

"Alec, please come with me?" Isabelle asks, leaning on his window sill.

Alec knows what she wants by her look; all black, high heels, make-up that highlights her cheekbones and red lips. It is her rule-breaker outfits. In fact, she is well-known for making troubles in the family. However, she hasn't done anything outrageous (also for the fact that she never gets caught) for Robert and Maryse to really punish her. After all, she is the princess in their eyes.

"No," Alec says and returns to his reading. He is leaning on the bedpost and has changed into his pyjama already. 

"Big brother, you need some fun in your life!" Isabelle gets closer to him by sitting on the edge of his bed. 

"No. You will never hear another answer from me. After finishing this I am going to rest."

"It's only two hours after sunset." She points out.

"So?" Alec counters. 

"You don't need that many hours of beauty sleep." Isabelle exclaims. She has tried to persuade him to sneak out with her at least a hundred times. None of the attempts is successful but she never gives up. Sometimes Alec admires such persistance.

"I am just... not this kind of person, Izzy," he sighs and closes his book. This gesture gives her hope but to only find out he just puts it on the nightstand and slips under the blanket.

"Well, before you throw yourself over the window, blow the candles out for me, will you?" Alec says and closes his eyes to pretend sleeping.

She waits a few moments. 

"By the angels!" Isabelle throws her hands up to surrender and officially aborts her mission to get Alec out for the night. What's going on in his mind she never figures it out. As a good sister though, she does what she was told.

Sensing the room has gone dark, Alec opens a slit of his eyes to take a peek. He sees his sister's slick move of jumping over the sill and into the moonlight. 

Alec turns away from the window. He must not look at it. Not at the opening window. Otherwise, he doesn't know what he would do.

* * *

The routine has trained Alec to wake up at 7 before the guard's arrival. There is a calmness of the morning he always needs. He just finishes tying his boots while there is a knock on the door. 

This time it is Darius, a young fellow with blond hair and muscles. 

"Young sir, the breakfast is ready." Darius bows to him.

Alec silently appreciates Darius in his leather guard uniform. It wraps around his body in perfection that he doubts if this is a body shaped by the angels themselves. There are rumours, of course, among the maids that Darius is a player and many have slept with him. His skills are obviously so spectacular that beds have been replaced multiple times since he has joined the household.

He has sparred with him a couple times during training and he definitely has not forgotten how it feels being under the strong torso, his hands being held above -  _Don't you dare think about it!_ Alec bites on his tongue and returns to sense when the guard opens the door. 

"After you, sir." 

Quickly fastens his boots, Alec nods to him as he walks out the door. His room is at the far side of the castle and it takes time to reach the dining hall. It is not his idea to separate himself from the others; his parents want him to focus on his tasks without distraction. Therefore, he is _banished_  to live with the servant wings but with a slightly better room. 

He is having archery today. He loves the weight of a bow and the thrill of sending an arrow straight at the bull eye. The hunting he also enjoys because he can get lost in the forest by himself (maybe with hunt dogs and two servants behind him). The alone time is very hard to get when lessons and diners and social parties are scheduled by his never-present parents. Practising archery means he has more excuses to get into the woods without questioning by others.

Finally reaches the dining hall, Alec is surprised when he sees Isabelle is there already. Her absence is noted whenever she has her little adventure in previous night. However, what's more surprising is the three figures by the end of the long table.

His parents are standing with a kneeling man next to them. Their stone cold faces make Isabelle's angry one ridiculous. He walks closer to find that Maryse is holding out a chain to her, which is connected to a collar on the man.

"I am not taking a slave! What's wrong with you people?" Isabelle shouts and slams on the table. Silverware shake.

"Izzy," Robert starts soft on her, "it is a gift from our friends and it is fashionable to have one in the house."

She glares at him. "Can you hear what you just said? Fashionable!"

"This is inappropriate, lady," Maryse drags the chain forward and the man is on four due to the force. Alec almost runs to his sister.

"Mother, I don't think this is a good idea." Alec says as he stands next to Isabelle's chair.

His heart skips a beat when he at last sees the collared man. His skin is an exotic brown and his face of foreign features. Alec has not seen men like this before. It is not common to have slaves in Idris, but apparently, it has become trendy in the higher class. The tunic he wears is dirty and muddy. Black hairs are greasy from the lack of washing. 

"Have I allowed you to speak?" Maryse is in a bad mood and she stuffs the chain into Isabelle's reluctant hands. "Take him. There is no return policy."

"Dad!" She turns to Robert.

"Obedience is something you need to learn, Isabelle." He says and exits the hall.

"We are invited to stay over at the Morgenstern, then we will get back to the city to deal with a new merchandise. I hope when we get back, your behaviours will improve." Maryse orders Alec before she follows her husband's footstep. "Hodge has told me your progress. Not bad, but you can try harder. Your result is not acceptable."

"Yes mother." Alec answers with his hands on the back. His head bows low.

He only looks up when Maryse is gone and his eyes lock with the man's yellowish green ones; they are cold and full of hatred, which Alec does not blame him, but there is also pity. 

"I can't believe this," Isabelle throws the chain on the carpet and kneels to inspect the collar. "The lock is not difficult to get it off. I just need my tools."

"Tools?" Alec raises his brows. 

"You know what I mean," Isabelle smiles. She asks the man. "Are you hurt somewhere?"

The man shakes his head. It seems he understands their language and Alec finds himself embarrassed to get scolded by Maryse in front of the stranger. He is twenty already but his mother is treating him like a child! His cheeks blush.

"Good, you need to eat something." She helps the man up and let him sit in her chair.

Darius hesitantly speaks. "My lady, I don't think it is suitable for him to eat here."

Isabelle says coldly. "If this is going where I think it is, I will make you not ever use your mouth again." Her voice turns softer when she turns to the man. "Take your time. It is no hurry."

The man expresses his gratitude. "Thank you." And Isabelle brightens at his words.

He has an accent and the elegant way he holds the silverware is very suspicious. 

"Father and mother will not be happy about this," Alec sighs.

Alec settles down in his usual seat, opposite of the man. 

"I am Izzy, and this grumpy old man is my brother Alec. What's your name?"

"Magnus," the man whispers and forces a smile. "Thank you for the food."

"No need to thank me for anything. Anyway, wait here. I am going to get my stuff so that the damn collar can be thrown into hell."

She storms out and leaves Alec and Magnus in the dining hall. Other servants are well-trained to remain expressionless when serving, but they are all listening. 

Alec picks his eggs and sausages. For some reasons he loses his appetites so he eats the toast instead. Slowly he smears the butter on the bread, really slow like he is a sloth. He wants to ask how Magnus ends up here. It doesn't make any sense that the man in front of him, who eats in better demeanour than Isabelle, would be at his castle as a slave. The collar and the dirty cloth have shocked him that people can be treated like nothing. 

Nothing like what he is.

 _No question. He is not allowed to ask question._  

He forces himself to chew. He needs energy for his lesson. Before he can finish the toast, Isabelle has come back with a small packet in her hand. Magnus was hungry; he has eaten everything within blinks. 

She lays out the tools - they are small needles in various sizes, some of them are bent at the end. She looks at the lock one more time and chooses a needle.

"Stay still," she says.

"Sure," Magnus smiles and turns his neck a bit for her easier access.

Isabelle puts the needle in and whirls it, ear close as if to listen. With a clear ring, the lock falls to the ground and she immediately flings the collar away.

"This is much better. I see that you have eaten, how about we get you some new cloths?" She collects her packet and holds out her hand.

Magnus looks dumbfound, "new cloths?"

"What?" She states, as if it is the universal truth, "You don't think I would actually take you as my slave? No. You will be my new personal guard."

Alec gulps his food. "What about Merlin?"

"I am tired of him."

"I thought you two share some history."

"History, as in the past tense." She sticks her hand out further.

Magnus gets the cue and takes her hand, shaking his head fondly like he can't believe this is really happening.

So, Magnus is now a personal guard/fashion advisor of Isabelle. They are practically twins now - they share hobbies and news and gossips and they go everywhere together. Alec has remained his distance and goes on with his routine. He cannot allow himself to think about Magnus and it is a great battle to fight because Magnus is so charming and attractive - 

Alec pulls another arrow and let it fly, hitting the centre of the target. Darius removes the arrow.

Without hesitation he draws his bow again, ignoring the pain from his right hand. Another perfect hit.

"Another," he says and is ready for his next shot. His arrow goes skew when he hears a voice from behind.

"Sir Alexander," it is Magnus. This is how he calls him like his parents but without the authority.

He lowers his bow and arrow, his hands resting beside him. "What do you want?"

He is surprised by his harsh tone. It is cold and flat, not what his intention at all.

Magnus's cat-like yellowish eyes grow wide with a hint of smile. "Lady Isabelle wishs to speak with you."

Alec hates that smile.

"I am occupied." He resumes his bow.

A hand touches his arm and he jumps at the contact. He must look like a scared rabbit now because Magnus is grinning, his smooth hands holding Alec's leathered right one.

"You are bleeding," he says with concerns. "I am sure archery can wait after you get bandaged."

"You are in no place to talk to me like that. You are just a servant and you don't get to tell me what to do." Alec is talking without any logic now and pushes Magnus off him. He doesn't know why he is acting like this.

Magnus lets out a long breath and steps back. "Lady Isabelle insists that I must bring you to her. She sounds pretty urgent."

"And you don't know what her business is? Ain't you two best friends." Alec snorts.

"My apologies, I do not know." Magnus bows.

The pain of his right wrist starts to spread to his entire arm. It is trembling. He can tell Magnus notices the shaking of his hand as the guard quickly peeks at his face.

"After I have finished this bundle."

"Yes, sir." Magnus excuses himself and leaves the training room. 

Alec grasps on his bow. There is a deep hatred inside him that of unknown origins. Since Magnus has entered their life it grows stronger and stronger each day. He doesn't want to feel anything - he wants to be numb. He needs to be. His position cannot afford him to be emotional. 

"Sir, your hand..." Darius tentatively reminds him. 

Only then he finds out blood is dripping onto the ground from his hand.

 _This is good,_  he thinks, _this pain is good._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec continues to struggle with his thoughts. In the end Magnus and he come to an agreement.
> 
> #SaveShadowhunters

It turns out Isabelle wants to get him new clothes under the advice of Magnus. He is never the kind of person who cares about fashion; sometimes he wonders how come Isabelle and Max are so different even though they are under the same tutor. He has heard people talking about him in social occasions.  _Dull and boring_. Admittedly he tries to not care about what people think of him, but it hurts to feel that there is no one who understands him. He himself is to blame, of course. Never shows emotion, never expresses his opinion. 

"Is this necessary?" He asks when the tailor gets his measurement. It doesn't feel comfortable to have foreign hands on him.

"Yes. Clary's birthday is coming up and they are hosting a party for her at the Morgenstern residence. Big brother, your clothes are from two hundred years ago." Isabelle says while sitting on her bed, "what's up with your hand?"

"Training." 

She rolls her eyes, "Magnus, what colours do you think look best on Alec?"

The man in question is standing next to the bed, just a few steps away. Alec can feel his cat-like eyes scanning him head to toe and the smirk he has on his face make Alec tightens his fists.  _Don't show any emotion. You get this_.

The tailor sort of saves him when the measurement is all done. Finally he can lower his hands and get himself to sit on the chair beside the window. 

"Olive or violent. But I am sure Alec prefers black, much like his mood." Magnus winks at her and she laughs.

The way he moves. The way he talks. The pride and confidence he carries. He befriends most of the people serving here. Magnus is at ease as if he is the master of this place; his current situation has not weakened his grace that only educated person would possess. He is the complete opposite personality of Alec. In comparison, Alec feels like an outsider of his home. No one really gets him. No one wants to. In their minds he is just the eldest son of the Lightwoods. A puppet. A secret amusement. They will take up any chance to scold and laugh at him when he makes a mistake.

He couldn't breathe - he has to get out of here, away from their joyful conversation and laughter. Mutters a quick apology, Alec rushes out and hurries down to the corridor, leaving them behind in shock.

There are footsteps behind him but he can't care less. He needs his space. He needs to be alone. He needs the pain. There is an ache - a yearning - in his body that co-exists with him and he doesn't know how to deal with it. The pain helps to clear his head. To temporarily make him forget. It always helps.

The short run to his room earns him some curious glances from the servants and guards. Just as he yanks his bedroom door open a hand catches his arm. Alec startles like a scared deer and jumps slightly, almost stumbles.

"What!?" Alec shouts at Magnus who has chased after him for unknown reason. "Don't touch me!"

He shrugs his hand off and slams the door shut - he underestimates Magnus. The man simply slips through the gap as if he is dancing along with music, and Alec shuts them both inside of his room.

 _Great_.

"Calm down, Alec," Magnus attempts, both of his hands hold out to show he means no harm. "You scare us with your outburst."

"Outburst?!" Alec sneers, "It is not for you to judge. Now get out of my room!" He clutches onto his window sill and has his back toward Magnus. He couldn't bear the sight of him. He can't stand his soothing voice. It is taunting him.

"Izzy worries about you, Alec. She is upset. She thinks she might have hurt you indirectly." 

"She has, by accepting you so easily." He spites. Shames and self-pity turns into anger. The negative emotions are burning him inside and threatening to leak. If Magnus didn't come after him, he wouldn't be the projection of his fury. "You are just a servant, if not a slave."

"That's enough, Alec. I know you are hurt but that doesn't give you reason to push the people around you." Magnus says seriously. 

He can't take it anymore. He looks at the blue sky and the endless forest outside, how the birds are flying with their wings. They are free. 

He wonders how it would be if he jumps. 

"Leave me alone," Alec breaths, on the verge of begging. The pain in his chest is getting stronger and it is eating him from the inside. He can't let Magnus see him like this. Weak. Emotional. Losing control. 

The small knife is under his pillow. He needs to get it to relieve the pain. With physical pain.

"You are going to hurt yourself," Magnus points out, "it is not healthy."

"And why do you care?" Alec tears himself from the window and goes for the knife. When he grabs the object Magnus is not surprised. Cautious, but not surprised. 

It is swallowing him; the presence of Magnus couldn't stop him anymore. Let him see. Let him see how ugly he is. Alec sits on the bed and inspects the sharpness of the knife's edge.

"Alec," Magnus says lowly. His steps soft on the carpet. "Don't do this. Give it to me."

"Why do you care?" Alec loses his sense; his hands are shaking. 

Seizing the moment, Magnus quickly disarms him, the knife getting thrown onto the floor. Alec jolts - his wrists are caught by a pair of strong hands.

He has seriously underestimated him.

"Don't do this to yourself." He is speaking to him tenderly. "I understand."

"You understand?" Alec repeats. Looking into Magnus's eyes, he finds sincerity and empathy.

"Yes, Alexander," he whispers, "I understand. The pressure from your parents, the expectation they impose on you. All the people who judge you based on rumours. They focus on appearance and have little time to discover the real you. They don't have patience to wait."

Alec closes his eyes. He gets him. His words hit home. 

"Hit me," he begs, "hit me, Magnus."

"Alexander..." Magnus shakes his head, disapprovingly.

"I need this. I need you to hit me. Please." He can't take it anymore. If Magnus says he understands him, then he knows how much he depends on the pain. Without pain, he is nothing. It is his life source. "If not, give me back the knife. I can do this myself. I have always been. You don't have to help me. I can take care of myself." He forces a smile to assure him.

The inner turmoil reflects in the yellowish-green eyes. He looks at the bandages, at the small cuts that decorates his inner biceps. They are revealed from the rolled-up sleeves.

"I can help you," Magnus sighs with sadness. "But not like this. I am not going to hit you like some barbarians."

Alec smiles with relief. For the first time in many years, he smiles from the bottom of heart.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They execute their agreement on the first night of the hunt.
> 
> *Light bondage, spankings, anal fingering.

Alec stares at the fire that Magnus has built for them outside the small hut. The day has been pleasant with Magnus being his hunting partner due to his assumption that the foreigner doesn't do any heavy lifting. However, the man surprises him; he knows the basic bow and arrows, how to ride a horse gracefully, and he _talks_ with the hunting dogs. Currently Magnus has taken the dogs for a relaxing walk, he says, the animals need some treats after a hard day's work. He carries with him a bucket to get water from a nearby river. And Alec is left alone, skinning and making them meals for the night.

The hunt is fruitful. They have tracked down a pack of deer and got one of the huge one. Other than that, they have caught some rabbits. Much to his terror, Magnus has killed a number of snakes for its skin with scale. Some sort of fashion trend back in his country, and he intends to gift them to Isabelle. 

Izzy is worried first when he asks about Magnus's availability, however, after reassurance from the former slave she is willing to let Alec have him for 3 to 4 days for his monthly hunt. From the way she whispers to him, she is making sure Magnus is not pressured by Alec in any way. She has really taken the foreigner under her wings.

Alec sighs. The sky is getting dark and Magnus is somewhere in the woods. The only sounds that accompany him are the small snorts of horses and the crackling fire. He tries to focus on his task: he has cut the deer into parts for easy storage, and he should skin all the animals before Magnus comes back. His hands are covered in blood from the work.

He is nervous, stomach ties in a knot. Magnus and him have an agreement, and they are going to go through with it tonight. He doesn't know what to expect. 

Anxious, but at the same time,  _excited_ \- does anyone get thrills from being hurt? Deep down, he feels like he is a pervert. Traditionally speaking, he is not normal. He is supposed to like girls, chase after them like some fools high on drugs. 

Pain is his drug.

"Watch what you are doing. Don't want your fingers getting cut off, right?"

Alec is drawn back to reality at Magnus's voice. He looks up to find him striding in his leather boots with dogs jumping and barking behind them. Water is splashing, spilling a little from the bucket along with the movement. It seems like they have a good time. Even the dogs are happier than he does.

He drops his eyes back to the dead animals and resumes his task. "No," he whispers lowly, doesn't know what to say. 

Magnus hums and orders the dogs to calm down. The pack obeys quickly and finds themselves a spot near the horses, not far away from the fire.

"Well, seems like you are taking your time." Magnus rubs his belly in a dramatic gesture. "I was hungry and thought dinner would be ready when I got back."

"You can get it yourself." Alec says grumpily. Actually, Magnus should be the one preparing dinner. He is a servant after all.

The man shakes his head. "I apologise if I have offended you, Alec." He drops the bucket by Alec, picks up the skinned animals and moves them into the hut. "Let's share a deer hind leg."

How can Magnus put up with him? Alec has always said hurtful things to him, but he stays all the same. He seems to not care about his mocking and takes punches like a true champion. Sometimes he talks back in a easing way and this makes Alec even more furious. It is like he is being petty. Maybe he does.

Seeing that the sky is almost dark, Alec quickens his hands to finish with the last rabbit. Magnus walks out from the hut and holds out the deer leg to him. He trades the skinned rabbit with him.

Alec cleans the meat with water and stick it through along the bone with a branch. He sets it above the fire with other tree branches. For the thickness of the meat, it will take a long time for it to cook.

Magnus comes back after putting the animals away, in his hands two small linen bags. As Alec folds the skins neatly into a pile, the man salts the meat and turns the branch so that the fire can reach every part of it. When he is sure the salt is absorbed, he adds pepper. Waving his hand to send the smell to his nose, Magnus is satisfied.

"Just a moment!" He announces. 

Nodding, Alec stands up from the stone and hisses when his legs are a bit numb. He kicks a few times before retrieves a pile of branches they have collected on the way to the hut. Their quivers are half full and Alec needs distraction, so he begins to sharpen them into arrows for their later hunts. 

Silence fills the world around them with the noises of the nature. The only thing that Alec looks forwards to in his boring life is the monthly hunt. It gives him space from others, he can do whatever he wants without being judged. He can swim naked in the river, embracing himself fully in the brief moment. 

Every day he would rise early for chores, then maybe for a small hunt. He would return the hut by the evening to prepare dinner and take care of the animals. He would open all the windows to allow birds and owls a visit in his humble home, or in winter he can stay inside with warmth and the company of his dogs. It would be a simple life. A life that he has always dreamed about when he is alone in his bedchamber, looking out at the starry night. 

"Alec," 

He stops his hands and looks at Magnus, who shakes his head fondly. "You are going to cut yourself."

"I'm fine." Even though he is not, he has trained himself to say so for years. It just rolls off his tongue before he could think.

Magnus gives the meat another turn and walks to sit in front of Alec. He snatches the thin branch and the knife. "The poor thing can only be a toothpick now. Let's switch."

Alec shrugs. They work in silence. They haven't exchanged a word until the meat is ready. Magnus has made enough arrows for them and he tidies them up in their quivers. He also gets them bowls that are kept in the hut. Alec cuts the meat for them, and throws some for the dogs.

"This is delicious! Would be better with some drinks." Magnus sighs as he bites down. 

Alec silently eats his share. What would be an appropriate response? _'Some wine would go well'with it'_ , or  _'I don't like drinks?'_. There is a reason why people call him the boring one. 

Seeing that he couldn't get anything out of Alec, Magnus simply continues his meal and pets the dogs when some of them come look for some loving. 

He thinks bitterly,  _now that the dogs love him more than me_. How is it possible for Magnus to win them over so easily? A smile, a greeting, and people are already falling for him. The servants already praise him like a gentleman, and they are empathetic to his status of being here as a slave not long ago. Once again Alec feels like he is an outsider. Hearing the laughter of Magnus and the barks, he thinks... if he disappears, people might actually be happier. His solemn presence is unlikable. It drags them down into a negative pool of emotions. 

The tasty meats turn bland. He chews to fill his stomach.

They wash the bowls when they are done. Alec takes them into the hut with a torch and lights up the small fireplace opposite the humble bed. Right behind him is Magnus, who is cradling some logs. He settles them near their small baggage by the door.

Alec's back is facing Magnus and his heart is beating faster every second. Finally it is going to happen. A shadow approaches him. He jumps a little when a pair of hands touches his shoulders.

"I'm sorry if I startle you," Magnus says. His voice is silky, like a siren luring him to go under. His soft hands squeeze tighter for a moment, "you need to relax, Alexander."

A meaningless sound dies in his throat and Alec has to hold onto the shelf. He is going to faint if Magnus continues to be this close to him. He can feel his breaths on the back of his neck. Closes his eyes, he shakes his head.

Magnus notices the slight trembling. Compare to him, Alec is inexperienced. Probably his first time, judging his responses. He has had a few lovers who enjoy more hardcore activities, but none of them were this nervous like Alec. Therefore, he decides to be as slow and gentle as possible. He keeps on massaging the tense muscles, relieved when Alec starts to relax.

His lips brushes his neck while watching carefully for any reaction. Alec clutches harder onto the shelf, doesn't push him away though. Magnus reaches to cover Alec's hand with his own, "Alexander, take a deep breath for me when I tap."

He taps, and Alec sucks in a quick breath. He plants kisses, gradually from the bottom of his neck to his right shoulder. "Slowly," he waits longer, taps again, and Alec follows the instruction perfectly. 

"You are doing great," Magnus praises him. In response, Alec let out a whimper and his knees buckle. He catches him on the waist. Follows the momentum, he leads Alec to the bed. His legs are weak that a small push puts Alec sitting onto the bed, looking up at him with dizzy eyes.

His jawline is perfect. The hazel eyes tries to focus on him and he has put his hands on Magnus's thighs. 

Magnus shakes his head fondly, "Tonight is all about you," and peels away the hands, holding them in his own. 

"It's going to get rough," Magnus reminds him, because their agreement is about Magnus giving Alec pain, and he hopes to do it in a proper way. "Do you agree on this?"

"Yes," Alec whispers. There is a thirst in the way he says it. "Please, Magnus."

"We need a safe word," Magnus says. "Pick a word. Use it when you think you can't handle any more, and I will stop immediately."

His pants is getting tighter because he is growing an erection. And Alec notices. "Honey," his eyes traces down and he licks his lips, "like the color of your eyes."

Magnus smiles at the compliment. "Strip."

Alec follows the instruction. Shirt first, then his boots and pants. Under the staring, Alec loses his confidence and bows his head, not used to be completely naked in front of people. He is suddenly aware of all the scars he has imposed on himself. He hugs himself to hide those on the inner arms; there are some from the results of him purposely makes the wounds of training harder and longer to heal. His body is ugly. A reflection of his twisted mind. Would a sane person actively look for pain to fill the void that's inside his heart?

"Turn around," Magnus orders. 

Seeing all the scars and Alec's attempt to hide make him feel sad. Alec shouldn't be ashamed of his body; it is shaped by the Angels themselves with the muscles and golden proportion. For a starter, ropes and a horse crop would do just fine. Like a good solider, Alec stands with his hands on the back.

Magnus kicks his ankles to make them further apart and ties Alec's wrists together. Alec gulps, his head remains low. 

"Tighter," Alec says.

It would cut off the blood supply, so he refuses. "No."

As he finishes, he grabs a fistful of his hair to pull his head up, baring his neck to him. Alec lets out a yelp. 

"Kneel. Chest on the bed." He whispers to Alec's ear and let go of the hair, going to pick up the crop.

Obediently Alec leans on the bed. It is low and makes his gesture very inviting; like he is presenting himself. Magnus takes a deep breath and calms himself. He is hard but tonight isn't about him. He will make Alec's first-time unforgettable as a good memory.

He teases him by flicking the crop on his thighs. They are pale with some scars that Magnus wonders how he gets them. The areas are too private to be touched or seen. 

"Where do you want to start?" He asks. Even though he is supposed to be a dominant role, he likes his partner to have some control. Letting them decide what to do next is also a way to check if they are okay or not. The crop goes up to his buttock when Alec answers.

"My ass, then the thighs." Alec has his face on the bed too, and his voice is muffled. 

It is a shame that he couldn't see his hazel eyes. 

"You really want it, don't you?" As the last vowel drops, Magnus spanks a hard one on his left cheek and Alec shouts at the surprise. His body jumps but he soon recovers the posture. 

Very soon a red mark appears. Magnus hits the same spot with similar force. Alec hisses, doesn't shake this time. 

"How many?" He asks. 

Alec doesn't know he needs to count. His mind drifts to the pain that he can't think properly. It feels great. The sound, the leather hitting his skin. The hot sensation travels from the bottom of his spine to his neck. "Don't stop until I say so," Alec pants, already yearning another hit. "Argh!" And Magnus gives it to him, this time on his right cheek.

He moans loudly at each spank; the pain of tender flesh being hit over and over again, the thrills of anticipation of next hit, the idea that he has given up control and let himself be lost in the pleasure - it builds his joy higher than the clouds. He never wants this to stop. He wants it harder, wants it to make him bleed. There is a small interval between each spank and Alec wishes Magnus could be less gentle. He wants to be destroyed. Be used. Like he is nothing.

"Fuck!" He breathes when the crop gets a spot close to his ass crack. He is shaking like leaves in the wind.

"Again!" He screams when Magnus stops. His erection is leaking. One more hit and he would come. 

"Your ass would say no," the other man sighs. He can imagine he is shaking his head in disapproval.

Alec swallows between pants. His body feels like on fire. "I haven't used my safe word."

The crop rests on his waist. "I don't think you can take it any more. Physically." Magnus stresses the last word.

He turns his face so that he can see Magnus. From this angle, the man looks stunning in the dim light. His eyes are flashing dangerously. 

"Let's move lower, then." 

Magnus hesitates - because the man's cheeks are pinkish, near to an alarming red. If he has continued, there could be blood and permanent mage. Alec is new to this. His blind pursuit of pain would cause him harm more than pleasure. Magnus would not let him get hurt like before.

"Just five on each side. Light ones." He gives in a little because he doesn't want Alec to end their agreement. If the young man doesn't get what he wants from Magnus, he will return to the old methods and it is not healthy. He wants to help, truly.

Alec grunts a reluctant approval. The light ones are not enough. He desperately looks for more and wiggles his ass to Magnus. "Please," he begs. He never begs anyone before. "Give me more. I can take it."

His heart breaks at the sound of the crop being dropped to the ground.  _No,_ he thinks. He needs more. Why wouldn't Magnus give him more, like he has promised? He says he would help him!

His mind is interrupted when Magnus drops to his kneel between his parted legs and kisses on his redden ass. 

"Magnus - " he whimpers. Those lips are evil, doing marvellous things to Alec's brain. He kisses, licks, sucks, sometimes gentle and sometimes harsh. It makes him yearn for more. This is not what he has expected. He thought Magnus would spank him til he begs to stop and that's it. The care afterwards drives him to another level of ecstasy. When the tongue moves to his rim and gives it a tentative lick, Alec sucks in a quick breath and groans a long "yes". 

Magnus is encouraged by Alec's heavenly moaning and he continues to eat him out. His flexible tongue moves around the rim, his hands caress the lovely cheeks and thighs. He finds that Alec is extremely sensitive - a small kiss would make him tremble in delights. Therefore, he goes slowly. When he thinks he is wet enough, he mildly puts a finger inside Alec.

Feeling the intrusion, Alec feels weird at first. It is strange to have something inside moving around experimentally. The uneasy feeling is soon gone when a part of him is brushed; it makes his toes curl. He can see the whole galaxy of stars in front of him. 

"Does this feel good?" Magnus's voice is doing unimaginable things to him. Alec squirms in pleasure and nods between his broken whimpers.

When Alec is loose, Magnus adds more fingers with one hand pumping Alec's erection.

"Magnus!" He shouts, as he is being stretched and being filled by fingers. 

Getting attacked on both ends, Alec soon gives up and spills his seed onto the floor. He screams out his climax and drops tiredly to the bed. His breathing is a mess now.

Magnus keeps on stroking Alec's backside. His body is covered with sweats, slightly shaking because of the mind-blowing release. Alec remains at the same position even after he has been untied. It looks like he is completely out of it, too overwhelmed by the sensation.

They need rest now - they still have hunting to do tomorrow and the day after. Magnus quickly retrieves the bucket of water inside the hut and gets a clean cloth. Even when he cleans Alec's body, the young man doesn't utter a sound like he is sleeping deeply. Or he is just too exhausted to move at all and let Magnus do all the work. He doesn't mind though. He likes to take care of his partners afterwards. 

Dressing would be too troublesome. Magnus simply wraps a blanket around his naked body. He lies down and tugs Alec by his side, let his head rest on his chest. Slowly he drifts to sleep to the even breathing of the young man.

"Thank you," 

Magnus hears in his dream.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus tells the story from his side.
> 
> Apologize for any grammar mistake.

When his hands are cuffed at the back by his buyer, contrary to how normal people should feel, he feels nothing.

One of the many sons of Asmodeus, he has lived a rather free life in one of his father's castles. However free, he is lonely regardless of the companies of his half brothers and sisters. Asmodeus sends his mother away once she has given birth to Magnus - she is just a servant in the household, Magnus a product of a one night's passion. 

His father rarely appears, still they share some good memories. He remembers his father reading to him before bedtime and the breakfasts. He can count them all with one hand. He has provided him a carefree life to do whatever he wants, just that he isn't there for most of his childhood. 

So Magnus explores his many interests, one of them taking care of the animals, and eventually settles on being a tailor. Not some random tailors which measure and make clothes his customers desire but a designer of own opinion and style. He has made many clothes for his siblings and accidentally become the trendsetter in the country. His style is adored for its elegance with eye-catching elements. Twenty years old, he is already an established designer that people would kill for his garments. 

His life then consists of designing, participating in social parties, and spending alone time with the animals he has taken care of since their births. He can't live a happier life.

Unfortunately, Asmodeus loses a gamble of business and he starts to bear debts. One by one, Magnus says goodbye to his half-siblings. He knows his turn will arrive soon. After six months of the first departure of his family, he is handed over. Throughout the proceed, his father is absent as usual.

He has not expected the empathy from his buyer, but they treat himself fairly well. He has meals with them and he can ride one of the horses instead of getting dragged at the back with rope on his neck. Actually, they like him for being cooperative. Things change quickly as they cross the border into a neighbor country and he is soon taken off the market by the Morgenstern. The handlers are rougher: they force a collar onto his neck and they lock him in a cage to be transported. Magnus, for the first time since his journey, feels like he is an animal. 

He gets less food and water to survive the days. The roads are bumpy and his skins are scraped against the metal cage. Sometimes the handlers make fun of him or empty threat of killing him. Magnus snorts. He would not care about these lowlife. 

After what seems like a week, they reach their destination. The handlers talk with a servant and they throw the cage into the stable carelessly. Magnus groans lowly for the impact. The horses come to inspect and he is grateful; animals always calm him down. He touches one of them through the bars.

"Hey! Let me get you out." The horses disperse at the voice, though their eyes trail on Magnus. A man in brown tunic that matches his hair runs over and opens the cage, signalling Magnus to come out. He has to crawl out first and stumbles when he tries to stand. The man catches him by the elbow and leads him to sit on a wood log.

"Here," he gives him a cup of water and Magnus accepts it with thanks. He doesn't realize he is this thirsty and hungry before seeing how much his hands shake. 

"Oh! You can speak our language!" The man is surprised. He has a clean cloth and begins to clean his arms and legs as Magnus drinks. "They are so awful!" He says with a frown. 

Magnus feels so much better without the dirt and sweat clinging on his skin. Shyly, he asks for another cup. 

"Sure," the man replies and exchange the cloth for the cup, "help yourself."

Magnus wipes his face clean and decides to leave his hair be. He would need a hot bath or shower to fix them. The man comes back and smiles at him.

"I'm Simon, the stable master. What's your name?"

"Magnus," he downs the whole cup. "Thank you."

"This is the best I can do," Simon shrugs. "Robert and Maryse are expecting you in the dining hall."

"Are they my new  _masters_?" He sneers.

"Yes, in the name. But I've heard that they are planning to gift you to Isabelle."

"Isabelle?" Magnus asks.

"Their daughter. She is an honorable person and I am sure she won't treat you as a slave. She hates this kind of thing." Simon says with a blush.

He raises an eyebrow at that with an amused smirk. 

"Anyway," the stable master gestures to the direction of the castle, "Let's get this over with."

"Lead the way." Magnus sighs and follows him. 

_This is it. My new home._ He thinks. The castle is decorated in plain pale colors that send chill to his bones. It is impersonal and cold, nothing that would associate him of family and warmth. Well, maybe this family is dysfunctional too. Still he and his half-siblings make an effort to decorate their living space with colorful paintings and murals. In here, he spots some red and purple curtains. The rest is so dead.

On his way he has passed several servants and they cast curious glances at him. He smiles towards them. They are going to work together and it is not too early to build relationships with others. The servants, mostly young woman, quickly cast their eyes down with an embarrassed expression. 

Simon stops at a door which is guarded by a butler. 

"I have come with the..." Simon struggles to find the word because he doesn't want to describe Magnus as a slave. 

"I am the slave," Magnus doesn't care much about it. The truth is, he is traded by his father to repay debts. He holds no shame in such position because he does no wrong. A cultivated young man, he would not let the situation roll over him. He controls his own destiny from now on.

The brown-haired man is shocked by his forwardness while the butler looks at him with hint of admiration. "Good. They are waiting inside. You can go now, Simon."

The stable master nods and pats Magnus's shoulder before returning to his workplace. He appreciates the small gesture. Alone to face what's coming next, he takes a deep breath and expresses gratitude to the butler who holds the door for him.

Immediately his eyes dart to the pair at the end of the long dinning table, reading a letter together. They are dressed in formal attire of plain white and gray. The woman has a ponytail, hairs all back. She turns when she hears him enter.

Magnus meets her eyes and stops. They are silently judging him and from the little frown on her face, she is not pleased. The man carefully folds the letter and tugs it in his pocket. Follows his wife, he looks at Magnus from head to toes. 

He waves a dismissive hand, "Just let Isabelle handle this." 

"Are you sure about this? I wouldn't think she is a suitable candidate. You know how rebellious she is."

"Max is too young." Robert sighs, shaking his head. "And Alexander..."

"Definitely not him," Maryse says firmly. She leans on the table, probably because the high heels hurt. "He can't control himself."

Robert counters subtly. "He doesn't need a distraction, that's all. He has enough on his plate with the lessons and training."

They are talking as if he isn't there. Maybe they don't know that they speak the same language. Maryse continues to disregard this Alexander, probably her son. "A mother knows her children best. You have to nip it in the bud."

He exclaims with his hands up. "Then we'll need to have female guards and servants! Can you find me a private female tutor?"

So they are discussing his sexuality? Magnus listens attentively.

"Robert," She warns, shooting a sharp glare to Magnus. "Don't take my words to the extreme. We need to reduce the chance of them seeing each other. In fact, hearing back from Hodge, I am thinking about sending Darius away."

Magnus is getting uncomfortable now. The way they talk about their son is disrespectful. It is like they want to control every part of his life! He feels depressing just by hearing them, and feels bad for this Alexander guy.

"Darius?" Robert repeats. He looks shaken when he remembers who that is. "We have done this before and he will suspicious."

"It is just a thought." She says. Her aggressiveness lowers but he can tell she isn't giving up easily.

As their private conversation is over, their focus turns back to Magnus. She bends her fingers to signal Magnus to get closer. He pretends a confused look before taking a step towards her. He doesn't want them to know that he understands every word they have just said. Maryse looks happy that he comprehends her body language. When he gets to about two meters away, she stops him and walks behind him.

Wondering what she wants, Magnus tilts his head to look back. Maryse puts her hands on his shoulders and presses down.  _Hard._ He gets it and kneels on the carpet. There are fingerprints on his shoulders.

She wipes her hands with the cloth a servant has offered. Magnus grits his teeth - he really dislike the Lightwoods. They sound manipulative and act like they are better than anyone else. 

Not long after that, the door opens and reveals a young woman of black hairs in a red dressing gown. She looks unimpressed when she reaches them.

Her delicate eyebrows raise in question. "Please tell me this isn't what I think it is."

Robert seems reluctant to be in this mess. "He is all yours, Isabelle." 

_So this is Isabelle, my future master._ He scans her again: her black hairs are loose on her shoulders, a tangle of mess. The morning gown has some small playful designs as a mixture of silk and floral embroidery, with the additional of a hummingbird or two. The gown reaches the floor and she looks gorgeous even without any makeup. Beautiful, but slightly inappropriate because the gown is certainly just for sleeping and not for breakfast. Isabelle doesn't care though.

Later he is glad that he works with Isabelle because she is a lovely woman. They click instantly and they share their stories with each other. Graceful with a rebellious spirit, she is not a damsel in distress. She can fight like her brothers. He has declined her invitation to secret outing at nights since his exotic feature is recognizable. She is like a sister to him and he for once feels the warmth of family again since the journey from his home.

She is debating with her parents about the moral of having a slave. She despises such practice and he wonders if she has traveled to other countries before. Slavery is common in many other countries. She must be well-protected here.

As the conversation gets more heated, the door again opens. This time, Magnus quickly lowers his eyes once he sees who it is. 

Is it possible to have a crush at first sight?

Admittedly Magnus has taken aback by Alec's attitude at first; with a sister so lovely, he simply cannot associate them as siblings other than their biological similarities. The man is always grouchy like the world owes him everything. He is cold towards every one. The eldest Lightwood child means trouble, so he tries to stay away. Alec is good-looking, but not worthy of taking the risk of getting hurt himself. It would be better for both of them to stay on their own paths.

It all changes when he finds him at the archery range under Isabelle's request. She is thrilled to get the invitation from Clary Morgenstern whose father is the one who bought Magnus. They are childhood friends but Clary has been away for her artistic study. Now she has returned home to celebrate her birthday and graduation. Isabelle quickly urges the tailor to come and asks him to fetch her brother so that they can make themselves presentable in the event. 

The archery range is located near the servant wings. It takes him some time to walk there and he smiles at whoever passes by. The servants and guards return the same smile. Magnus is proud that he has a good impression on others.

He halts outside the range. The doors are ajar and he can hear the flying arrows. He peeks before heading inside. 

It is such a beauty that he has never seen in his life. Alec has his back towards Magnus and the muscles are obvious under the tight training clothes. His stand speaks of confidence and determination. As soon as Darius has removed the arrow from the target, he swiftly loads another arrow and shoots it from his bow. It looks like he has spent his whole life practicing such movement. 

Magnus locks eyes with Darius. The guard nods slightly at him, but soon focus back to his task. He slowly approaches because he doesn't want to startle Alec. As he walks closer, he notices the unusual red under the wrist guard. He has to hold in a gasp because he realizes what it is. Blood.

It must hurt to pull the string with wounds on his palm and fingers. However, Alec shows no sign of stopping. He keeps shooting without hesitation. The signs of self-harm tendency. 

The conversation with Alec is difficult. Magnus starts to understand why Alec is behaving like this. The servants live on gossips and they talk about how truculent the eldest Lightwood child is. He lives a strict routine and barely talks to anyone other than those who serve him. It seems he doesn't have any friend - only his parents and Isabelle have received invitations and he simply tags along. There is no other interest of him beside archery.

How boring and depressing is that? Magnus thinks. How can a human capable of living without social interactions? It seems like Alec isolates himself from everyone and builds a wall around him. From the way his parents treat him, he probably never feels loved. Magnus feels bad for him. 

Years of suppression would drive a person mad. Isabelle and he witness an outburst later that day.

Immediately he reassures Isabelle and goes after Alec. He sees in front of him a man, broken and lonely, escapes the pain of reality by physically ruining himself. The confrontation inside Alec's chamber is tense but Magnus sees it as an opportunity to do things right. He wants to help. 

Alec enjoys pain, then he will give it to him - but under certain conditions. He wants him to learn... a healthier way to feel pain. 

Can't say that he isn't thrilled to do things to Alec. Deep down, he also has these thoughts that he doesn't share with others. He admires Alec's body. How in the world can people ignore such angelic beauty? Magnus wants to have him and he feels like he is taking advantage of Alec's fragile state. He makes up his mind to never really get inside of Alec. It would be beyond his moral to do that.

The night in the woods is amazing. The way Alec shivers from excitement. A strong and able body is foreign to physical touch and Alec withers under his fingers. The vulnerability with giving up control. The eager to command Magnus even though he is in such submissive position. If before the night it was pity, Magnus is sure now he has liked Alec. He is always drawn to things that would ruin him.

They don't talk about it during the rest of the hunt. They never do until Alec summons him secretly one night to his chamber, both understand what it entails.

The room is dimly lighted. It gets more or less the same like the first time; he bonds his hands to the bedposts, reconfirms the safe word, starts the spanking. This time Magnus helps Alec with his mouth and swallows his spill. He looks up and smiles at Alec's blushing cheeks.

"Let me return the favor," Alec suggests hoarsely, tugging the ropes that bond his hand up above his head. 

How can he say no to that?

So he unties him. Magnus is on his back with Alec kneeling between his spread legs. Long and slim fingers find their way to his pants. Alec clumsily starts by stroking him, giving a tentative lick before he put his head into his mouth. Sadly, Magnus quickly surrenders and reaches the climax. He warns him too late - as Alec pulls himself away he shoots his load, right onto his face. 

Magnus scrambles and apologizes, "Sorry! Alec, are you okay?"

But Alec puts a hand on his chest and shakes his head. He licks his lips and grins mischievously.

"You taste good, Magnus." Alec says. His hands moves around Magnus's body.

"Get some rest, okay?" Magnus gets up for the towel and clean Alec's face. 

"Are you going to stay?" 

Magnus stops. Their eyes locks, but the hazel eyes rapidly focus on Magnus's lips. He can feel his breaths on his skin. They are too close - 

He pulls away and stuffs the towel into Alec's hands. He can't look directly into his eyes. The desire behind the lovely hazel is too much for him. They cannot cross that line.

"I still need to help Isabelle on her new dress," he makes up an excuse. 

Alec snorts. "Whatever you say."

Magnus adjusts his clothes and boots before leaving the room. He casts a glance to Alec who has not moved at all, staring blankly at the towel. He doesn't want to leave him like this. Alec deserves so much more than what he can give him. 

Guilt begins to creep into Magnus's heart.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus is offered an opportunity and everything starts to go south.  
> Eventually, they leave permanent scars on each other.
> 
> *I have changed the tags because of this chapter. Please note that there is a rape scene. Also, I love sad story and I am a cruel person. So you can sort of tell where the story will go.

The party for Clary Morgenstern's birthday and graduation is approaching in two weeks. Magnus has been hectic with Isabelle, running around towns to choose a perfect gift. Other than that, he has been urging the tailors to make their clothes to perfection. He is given the authority to oversee their whole arrangements about the party, starting from the accessory to the carriage they need to take to the residence. He has never been this busy in his life, not even when he needs to plan his siblings' birthday celebration parties. Luckily, Isabelle has helped during the course. Although he has shouted at people and mentally broken down a few times when the servants cannot follow his simple orders, everything is going smooth as far as he concerns. He takes pride in his ability to take care of the whole thing. He will make the Lightwoods presentable and be the centre of attention of the room, other than the birthday girl of course. 

It is normal for him to stay with Isabelle late at night to plan for the birthday party. The boredom in living in the big cold castle must have driven the servants into desperation. Rumors start to spread in the household that he has been taken as her latest lover. They simply laugh at that. Their love to each other is more about friendship and mutual respect. 

"I love the necklace. Where did you find it?" She says, looking at the gold rose pedant that matches with the burgundy dress. They are sitting on her bed with sketches scatter around them with some brooches, necklaces and earrings. Magnus has decided what they would wear and he needs Isabelle's opinions on them. After all, there might be some personal preferences that he isn't aware of about the Lightwood family members.

"It is in the closet of yours, darling. If you would actually step inside and take a look, you would find a lots of treasure." Magnus explains.

She chuckles and leans on his shoulder. "What should I do without you, Magnus?"

"I am sure you can manage," he pats her hand that's on his lap. They have grown close during these three months and they are practically family now. They share with each other almost everything except Magnus's secret arrangement with Alec. 

Ever since their first time in the woods, Magnus has fallen deeper for Alec. He is a man of contradiction - on the surface, he takes his responsibility and duty to heart. Basically he gives a cold shoulder to everyone. He would not cast a glance at Magnus nor talk to him. However, when they are alone in Alec's chamber, he sees how vulnerable he is. The innocence hides behind the stone cold glare. The mind so fragile that one more hit would break his entire world. He relieves himself from the pressure with pain. Magnus is willing to give him that and only that. He, in name, is still a slave in this foreign country. Alec is a nobleman of rich background. His homophobic parents and this cruel society would not allow them to be anything more than that. A secret relationship. 

"Do you miss home?"

His mind draws back to reality. He wouldn't dare himself to think about it. "I do, sometimes."

"If it is okay, what do you miss?" She asks softly.

He hums affirmatively. He often dreams about the smell of homeland. Spicy with hint of sweet fruits. Along with the laughter of his friends and family. People here treat him alright, but it would be a lie to say he doesn't miss them every day. He is forced to adapt to his new role and to a new culture. 

"Do you want to go back?" She says carefully.

Magnus frowns. "I have - had a life back there." He wonders if this is a trick question, so he adds quickly, "But I am happy here, too. The circumstance of me coming here might be tragic, but I get to meet you."

She detaches herself and looks him in the eyes. "It is not a trap. What if you can live a normal life, not as a slave? Don't you want to?"

"I don't feel like a slave," Magnus sighs. He speaks his concern when she stares at him intensely. "It is my father who decides I am okay to get rid of. What would he think if I return? He probably thinks I escape and this would cause him trouble."

"Screw him," Isabelle huffs. "It doesn't matter what others think. You don't have to go back to your father or Edom. Maybe one of your friends?"

"My friends? I have told you, they are travelers. I cannot reach out to them like they do me." Magnus says. Ragnor, Catarina, and Raphael have been travelling around the world for quite some time now. They met in a summer night's market many years ago and their amazing performance caught Magnus's attention. He approached them and offered drinks at the bar. Years later they still keep in touch through letters, no matter how rare the occasion is. 

"Magnus," She sits up properly. Her serious face makes his heart sinks. "I have mentioned your situation to Clary and she wants to help. We all want to. Luck is on our side, you see; her father has invited bards for entertainments at the party. Your friends are on the list."

The idea of seeing his friends again brings a smile to his face. He hasn't seen a familiar face for a long time. "Are you serious? They will be there performing for the Morgenstern?"

"Yes," She get cheered up too, "Clary has been contacting them and they agree to help out. You will come with us to the party as my personal servant and sneak off with your friends once they are done. She will prepare horses and food for the road."

Magnus should be happy about gaining his freedom. 

"What?" Isabelle senses something is wrong when the smile disappears from his face. "You don't like the idea?"

He shakes his head fondly, "I like it."

"But you don't look happy. What's it?"

Magnsu gulps. He doesn't know if he should tell her the truth. Surely it would be terrific to meet his friends again and he would love to explore the world. However, he has built a life here. He has grown used to the big castle, used to the servants and workers. It is like throwing a steady life out of the window. "This is all a shock to me, knowing that I can live as a free man." Magnus says and massages his eyes. "I am tired after today's work. Shall we continue tomorrow after breakfast on the wardrobe?"

Isabelle agrees without further comment and gathers the sketches on the bed while Magnus gets the accessory back into the chest. As she hands him the pile of papers, she whispers to him. "I respect your decision. I just... don't want you to have any regret."

"Thank you," he says sincerely. "I need time to process and I will let you know once I have made up my mind."

"Sure thing. Good night." 

He politely excuses himself out of the door. Once the door is closed he lets out a deep breath. The corridor is dimly lit for torches on the wall and he picks one out for his way back to his room. He moves by instinct as he has memorized the route. His steps are heavy with thought. A few turns and he is inside his bedroom. He has mentally prepared himself to settle the rest of his life here to serve Isabelle. So he has made it his home with personal decoration and no one is allowed in. He has picked a purple drapery for the window, persian blue bed sheet, a carpet of floral patterns and a few chests of his stuff all thanks to her effort.

If he wants to, this wouldn't be his home anymore. His home would out there in the vast world with his friends. 

Changes into the nightwear, he cleans himself with a basin of water. Feeling refreshed, he tucks under the bed. He looks at the floor where is touched by the moonlight. Sleep would not come tonight, Magnus thinks. He tosses and turns in his bed with million thoughts in his head until he can hear the chirps outside. He has slept for two hours top when there is a knock on his door.

"Magnus?" A small voice says. Magnus is too tired to recognize who it is and he doesn't want to be disturbed. So he continues sleeping and pulls the blanket over his head. Clever people would get the hint. The person on the other side is persistent though. There are more knocks without being answered. Patience lost, the person opens the door and walks in without warning. Magnus grumbles inside his little blanket fortress at the uninvited guest. He is determined not to get up.

Soft footsteps on the carpet, he feels a presence crouching next to his bed. The bed sinks when a hand presses on it.

"Magnus?" 

He sighs, annoyed. Pulls down the blanket, he sees it is Alec who looks concerned. His thick eyebrows knot together tightly and the hazel eyes never leave his face. Alec bites his lips when he does't reply. "Isabelle says you haven't been up for breakfast and so... I come to check on you." The eldest child blushes at Magnus's raising brow. "She looks upset too. Did you two, maybe, have a fight?"

"No," Magnus sighs again and closes his eyes. He doesn't want to talk about it. Actually, he doesn't want to see anybody at the moment. His mind is exhausted after a night of overthinking and the sleep deprivation is making him moody. His day can't be brightened even with such a handsome face in front of him now. "I am fine. Please get on with your day."

"Are you sure? You didn't catch a cold or something?" 

Magnus is too sleepy to reply. He just shuts his mouth and turns his head to the other side. A subtle gesture to deny any further conversation. 

"I - " Alec utters a sound but it is quickly dropped. 

Other than their slow breathing there are no other sounds in the room. As he is half in dreamland, he is aware of Alec's movement by his bed. The man lingers for a while before standing back up and walks out, closing the door behind him silently.

It is time to keep their distance. They are going to say goodbye soon with Magnus's decision.

* * *

"Alexander, please concentrate." Hodge nudges him on the shoulder with the book and Alec apologizes. He again tries to focus on the text that talks about politics and power structures, and fail miserably mere seconds later. He keeps spacing out and thinks about Magnus. His slim ringed fingers. The wrinkles near his eyes when he smiles. Soft red lips that lures Alec to kiss them. Every time he lays eyes on Magnus, a fire ignites inside him. He remembers every night they have spent together. The way Magnus gently ties him up, spanks him with different devices that brings him pleasure, that takes away the pain he has felt for a long time before Magnus's arrival. His heart swells up when he reaches orgasm with Magnus's talented hands. He wants to kiss him - but Magnus always refuses, only allows a touch on the cheeks. It makes him yearn for more. He wants more. More than physical intimacy. He feels like... they understand each other.

Five nights have passed since the last time they have been together. Not being able to keep Magnus in his arms hurts Alec more than ever. He couldn't focus on his study or training and it shows. His reading lags behind and he fails tests. Hodge is casting him judgmental looks and Darius is shocked when he can't hit the bull's eye with several rows of arrows. Of course he has tried to keep Magnus from his head. He is supposed to control his emotions, suppress them as a proper gentleman should. Shamefully he can't and it bounds back stronger. A thought suddenly hits him.  _I am in love_ , he realizes. He has never loved anyone before. When he thinks about Magnus, it brings him pain because they can't see each other often. Yet, there is a bliss that he never experiences before. The anticipation of seeing Magnus and it builds  _up and up and up_ , which makes his knees weak whenever they finally get together, alone, in their little world.

Alec has wanted to summon him tonight, but Isabelle says Magnus hasn't shown up. Worried, he looks for him in his bedroom. It would be scandalous if anyone catches him doing such thing. He couldn't care less about that.  _Let people talk_ , he thinks stubbornly. For the moment courage fills him. He strides to Magnus's bedroom and finds himself being shut off. This is a new side of Magnus that he has never seen. The Magnus he knows is always caring and warm. Rejected that Magnus shows no sign of getting up, he leaves with frustration. As he walks out of the door, a new young maid spots him and her widen eyes speak of horror. Alec shoots her a deadly glare before storming back to his room in fury.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid!_ A voice says in his head. Alec bumps into Darius who comes looking for him on the way.

"Sir, your arrows are ready!" He shouts after Alec who ignores him. He goes straight to his room and locks himself inside. A small rejection is too much for him. Why would Magnus matter so much? Alec slides down against the door and tears stream down his face. He has spent years controlling his emotions and a move from Magnus can tear every wall he has built. He can't tell his heart not to care and he feels like an idiot. 

Hears footsteps outside his door, he quickly dries his face with the sleeves and takes some deep breaths.

"Alexander?" Hodge knocks. "Come out of your room immediately. You are late for your training."

Alec stands up, ready to face his tutor. He and Magnus can talk tonight. Everything will be fine.

So he carries on with his day, as he has been told. The class and the training go terribly wrong like the past few days. Hodge shakes his head in disappointment when Alec cannot recite a poem in the assignment. Darius looks worried when he cannot hit a single bull's eye. 

Alec is angry at himself. He shouldn't let Magnus affect his emotion, but deep down he is addicted to that man. He is the man of his dream; he never thought he would be able to find someone like him and would be alone for his entire life with a wife and children he doesn't want. Magnus changes everything. He can be just Alec in front of Magnus, not the projection of his parents have. He feels free whenever he is with him.

At the dinner Magnus finally appears with Isabelle, looking fabulous as always. He is standing next to the servants with a small smile. He and his sister seems to be in good spirits, whatever argument between them probably resolved. When Magnus notice his staring, their eyes lock and they reach an understanding. Magnus nods slightly in acknowledgement. A heavy stone lifts off from Alec's chest.

Knowing that he can meet Magnus tonight, to touch him again, he can't swallow any more food. He mutters an excuse and leaves the table early. 

Isabelle looks at her brother's back and she looks at Magnus, whose smile vanishes. There are something going on between them and she hopes to avoid their heartbreaks, especially with Magnus's decision to leave with his friends. The decision is difficult for Magnus, she can tell. She would support his every choice even if it means they might not see each other again. Magnus deserves to live the life he wants, not as her servant. 

Magnus is nervous about meeting up with Alec tonight. He cares about Alec and he wants to tell him the news himself. Since the beginning of the arrangement, they have grown to enjoy each other's company. Magnus wants to make sure that once he leaves the country, Alec can take care of himself properly. Maybe he can help him find another partner... With that thought, a surge of jealousy fills his body. He shakes his head in denial. It doesn't matter now. They would not have a fairy tale ending. Their destiny is set to depart after crossing once.

The day passes quickly as he finialises the details with Isabelle. Busy, but they are grinning because they want to keep their remaining moments full of joy. It would be a great regret to say goodbye to such a wonderful woman. Magnus hums as he walks to Alec's chamber, late at night while others are all sleeping.

He knocks a rhythm on the door. Their secret code for communication. Immediately the door is yanked open and reveals a distraught Alec. Before he can speak, Alec drags him inside by his elbow and pushes himself against the closed door. "Alexander," Magnus whimpers when Alec starts to kiss his neck. His ringed fingers clutches on the taller man's shoulders to try to push him away. He hisses when Alec bites his collarbone. 

An uneasy feeling set in his stomach. Alec has never been aggressive before, though he is verbally demanding. 

"I miss you, Magnus," Alec leans on his shoulder, his body is on Magnus's without any gap. Magnus feels a hard-on touching his thighs.

They are too close. They haven't been this physically intimate and this scares Magnus. He doesn't want to lead him on that they would have a future together. "Let me up, Alec. This is uncomfortable for me." He coaxes and massages the tense shoulders. However, Alec just holds Magnus tighter in his arms and mouths many wet kisses on his neck and collarbone. 

"I say let me up." Magnus orders again with authority and Alec snaps his head up. His lustful hazel eyes found the calm yellowish ones. Alec releases his hold on Magnus and steps away, hands on his back like a soldier at rest, his head low. 

"I am sorry," he says, not apologetically. 

Gaining the control of the situation, Magnus is relieved and he smiles when he spots the bed full of toys and ropes. He walks to the display and teases, "Excited to see me?"

"Of course," Alec breathes. His voice is small. He is trembling due to eagerness and every cell in his body yearns to be touched by Magnus's grace. He couldn't think straight even since this morning. He looks up tentatively. "Can we start now?"

At that moment Magnus is hesitant. He doesn't know if he should tell Alec about the news before or after their session. It is sooner or later, he thinks, so words rumble out of his mouth. "Alexander, there is something I need to tell you."

Hearing that, Alec is on edge. Is he not doing enough? Has Magnus felt he is too boring to be with? In panic, he loses his posture and fatlers forward. "What do you mean?"

"Calm down, darling," Magnus grows anxious and holds his hand up in a defensive position. By instinct he takes a step back. "It's nothing."

"When it comes to you, it isn't nothing." Alec states. He speaks like it is an universal truth. 

Magnus is slightly taken aback by such statement. Surely he feels something is budding between them. He just doesn't imagine how deep Alec has fallen. The disturbing feeling grows stronger as he gulps.

"What is it? You can tell me everything. You trust me, like I trust you. Right?" Alec asks, his eyes speak of uncertainty.

He doesn't want to burn the bridge now that Alec has confessed his trust in him. He suppresses the anxiety and takes a deep breath before he says, "I am leaving here, Alec."

"What are you talking about?" Alec takes another step towards him. His face wears confusion.

Magnus closes his eyes. When he opens them, he says cruelly. "I am done living as a slave. Isabelle has arranged a way for me to get away from here."

"I don't understand," Alec shakes his head in disbelief. And when their eyes lock, he knows Magnus is serious. His heart jumps faster than he is facing a feral animal. "What... what does Izzy have to do with you being a slave?"

There is no stopping now. Magnus continues, "She is a noble woman who despise unfair treatment. Her friend Clary has helped to find a way for me to live freely. I will be gone in no time." He wants to explain more but Alec's whisper has his attention. The man is mumbling something he can't catch. "I beg your pardon?"

"No..." Alec muttered. This can't be happening. Magnus is leaving? How come he doens't know any of it? Magnus and his sister have been conspiring behind his back.

Magnus is talking to him but his head is too busy to listen. Alec only sees the pair of captivating cat-like eyes and the agony spreads within his chest. If Magnus leaves, he can't see them anymore. Those beautiful, soul-breaking colors. If he knows about this, he wouldn't allow it. No one understands him better than Magnus and if he leave... he is nothing. He will just return to be a puppet of his parents, to be imprisoned by his own mind. Magnus frees him, shows him all the possibilities to live with his own will. Magnus can't leave. He needs him, like he needs air to breathe. Magnus can't leave. He can't let him.

"No." Alec determines. He has made a decision. Like Magnus does. "You are not allowed to leave."

Now he knows where the anxiety has come from: Alec has grown too attached. Right now the hazel eyes are fueled with anger and iciness. He shouldn't have agreed to tonight when he has already made the choice to leave. He should have avoid the man. It is too late now. Magnus finds himself stuck in the corner, the door far from his reach. He has fought with people before but Alec is well-trained.

As he calculates the chance of escape, Alec makes his first move - he jumps to grab Magnus and his reflex can't catch up. Callous hands tighten around his throat. Gasping, he tries to take Alec's hands off him but the man is too strong. 

"Al... Alec..." Magnus pants. The last thing he sees is the eyes that he once finds oh so lovely.

* * *

When Magnus wakes up, he recognizes the place instantly; it is the hut in the forest that they would stay during the monthly hunt. The sky is still dark and he hasn't been fainted for too long. The fireplace lights up the small space. He tries to get up but finds that his hands are tied to the bedpost above his head.  Magnus can still feel the hands on him that takes his breaths away. He has never been that horrified in his life. Tilts his head to look around, Alec is sitting next to the fire, his back towards Magnus. The small movement is picked up by Alec.

"Magnus," Alec turns and whispers. Guilt written all over his face. He crawls towards the bed on his knees and hands. When he reaches the bed, he leans close to kiss on Magnus's cheek. "Can you forgive me?"

He swallows and his throat hurts. He tugs on the ropes. His hands have gone numb. "Let go of my hands. They are too tight."

Alec looks at the ropes and Magnus's heart sinks when he shakes his head. "No. If I untie them you will leave."

"I promise I won't leave," Magnus offers. It is a lie - he doesn't want to but he needs to get away from here. Alec's current condition is unstable and he doesn't know what would happen next. Is he going to kill him?

"Words don't mean anything to me," Alec traces a finger from Magnus's mouth, along his jawline to his neck, continues to explore further. Magnus's breath hitches when his soft member is grabbed by the hand. "I am going to show you how much I want you, Magnus."

"Alec..." He almost curses when the hand roughly rubs his cock. Uncomfortable is an understatement. He wants to wiggle and kick Alec away from him, yet the other man is faster. He holds up a small knife out of nowhere and Magnus stops when he feels the tip on his neck. He wouldn't dare to move because he feels how sharp it is. 

"Alec, please. This doesn't have to go like this." He tries to persuade, sort of knowing what would happen to him. 

"Let me show you," Alec says as if he can't hear him.

Magnus bites on his lower lip as Alec cuts open his linen shirt. He looks away, wanting to believe this is just a dream. Yes. A nightmare. That would explain it. 

A body climbs onto the bed and straddles him. He closes his eyes and let out a whimper when the unwanted hands play with his chest, his nipples. Alec hushes him, "don't worry. It will get better soon." The soft and gentle voice leaves Magnus some hope, "Alexander, stop. This isn't what I want. You don't want to do this."

"You taste so good," Alec moans. He licks the sweats on Magnus's body and rolls his hip. Magnus let out a whine. "Don't do this. You will regret it tomorrow. Don't do this to us."

His words seem to have counteractive effect. Alec sits up. "I can't leave you, Magnus. You are all I have."

"Fuck!" Magnus shouts when his pants are torn. His legs tremble due to fear. Alec's strong hands hold them down.

"Don't be scared," Alec says before he takes Magnus's soft cock into his mouth, bobbing up and down. Tears begins to flood and run down his cheeks. Magnus shakes his head and begs. "No, Alec!"

He is hard under the inexperienced mouth and tongue. Much to his horror, Alec gets up temporarily to remove his own pants. He is hard too.

Alec aims Magnus's erection toward his hole. Magnus struggles again and pleads, "Alec, listen to me. Stop and let's talk. Let's talk like adults."

The younger man is too lost in his mind. He forces himself to sit on Magnus's cock. Magnus chokes; he is too tight. It hurts. He feels something is dripping down his shaft as Alec starts to fuck himself without any lubrication and stretching. Waves of pleasure forces themselves on him and Magnus grits his teeth. The small hut is filled with the sounds of their body slamming together and Alec's delighted moans. 

Alec feels the pain when he lets Magnus in. He welcomes it because it fills him up. He doesn't feel empty anymore. He smiles as he moves his hip up and down, feeling Magnus deep inside him. "Can you feel it?" He asks when Magnus just lays there without any response, and he blends down to kiss him on the mouth. Magnus thrashes to get away from Alec but he holds his face firmly. Magnus angrily bites on Alec's lip and makes him bleed.

He welcomes it as well because Magnus gives it to him. He will take whatever he is given. Alec never slows down. As his lips mark Magnus's neck and chest, he enjoys and let himself drown in the pain from the movement. He fucks, doesn't care about the blood and tearing. Just the pain alone can make him cum. After a several stroke, Alec reaches orgasm, with a mantra of Magnus's name. Both's stomachs are coated with the seeds. 

Magnus cries silently. Violated, used, he closes his eyes and blocks all the noise. He recalls his homeland. The soil, the music. He imagines traveling with his friends, thinking what awaits in his journey. They would make good bards and tell stories to kids. They would go to all the wonders in the world.

Unwillingly, Magnus comes moments later in the warmth of Alec. He grabs onto the ropes to pass the high and his skins are scratched. Alec continues to move up and down until Magnus begs him to stop. Until it is too much that he breaks.

Alec lets his soft member slip out of him. He holds Magnus's face gently like he is made of glass. "Let's leave together. Go to places where no one knows who we are."

Tears never stop. Like an endless stream they roll down his face and disappear into the bed sheet. Alec licks the tears and says, "I love you."

No. This isn't love. Love would not let you put other people in misery. In pain. In violation. "I don't." He replies. If there was anything between them, it all dies tonight. 

Alec gets up. Magnus will love him. He will. They just need time. He would take good care of Magnus. He gets the basin of water and a cloth to wipe Magnus clean, like Magnus does to him in the past. The aftermath is now streaming down his pale thighs but Alec couldn't care less. He feels great to have Magnus's fluids inside him. Now his heart and body belongs to the man. He cleans as he worships his body. 

They are both startled when there are gallops of horses around the house. Alec tidies up the cloth and basin and covers Magnus's naked body with a blanket. He walks to the curtained window and peeks out. Magnus follows his movement and lifts his head up, trying to see from the small gap. However, Alec soon leaves the window and returns next to the bed. He kneels and caresses Magnus's disheveled hair with a small smile. His face sweet like an angel, but Magnus knows better. Alec whispers to his ear. "Don't leave me, please." A sob escapes from his mouth and he leans on Magnus's shoulder. He doesn't feel bad for him. Just pity.

The door is burst open and rushes in the Lightwood guards. Magnus feels the deadly grasp on his body when the guards attempts to get Alec away. With a howl unlike human, Alec fights the guards with his fists but he is soon sedated by a few punches on his stomach and face. 

"By the angels..." One of the guards gulps. They look at the scene and guess what has happened. The clues are obvious in Alec's lack of pants and Magnus's immobility. Magnus watches the unconscious man being carried out of the door. 

"Magnus!" Isabelle's voice wakes him and he smiles weakly at her. She holds back her tears as she unties him, urging a guard to bring her bandages. 

Finally. It is finished now.

* * *

 

The dock is packed with people who are waiting to aboard Magnus is among them with Ragnor, Catarina, and Raphael. By his foot are his two bags of belongings. Soon his journey will start.

A grand carriage comes in the port. Magnus waves at Isabelle who comes out from the carriage and they run to each other into a hug. Right after the unspeakable incident, he is formally dismissed by the Lightwood as a freeman. With the silent approvals from the Lightwood and Morgenstern parents, they are leaving the country before the birthday party. Isabelle has been by his side days and nights to make sure he is okay. He can't say he is fine now, but being with his friends make him feel better. They distract him from thinking about that night. 

"I am going to miss you," she says when she leaves his embrace. "If possible, send me letters."

"Sure thing." He replies. 

The ship's horn announces it is time to get on board. Magnus looks to his friend; Ragnor and Raphael are taking their belongings to the ship and Catarina gestures he can take his time. Magnus sighs deeply and hugs Isabelle once more. "Take care, sweetheart." 

"You too," she mutters.

Magnus doesn't look back.

The world is larger than he expects and he has had many adventures; they learn poems and songs with sailors and traders, they tell stories to kids and elders and perform magic tricks in the random carnivals. They laugh through the tough mountains and roads, take care of each other when one of them is sick. They bond like a family. Family of their own choosing. The happiness of being around people you love and they love you back - there is nothing more he wants. They are always on the road, excited to see what the future has planned for them in the next village or city. Magnus keeps his promise to send Isabelle letters, however he isn't sure if she gets them. They drink with random people at the bars to exchange tips and news. That's when he hears about the Lightwood again. 

"What is your story, young man?" An old captain asks as he downs his alcohol.

Magnus smiles. "I come from Edom, but my story starts from Idris."

"Oh, Idris!" The man raises his brow in recognition. "I have heard about that place. That's like half a lifetime away!"

Laughing, Magnus takes a sip of his drink. "You are exaggerating. It's about six months of travel at best. What do you heard about it?" He asks curiously.

"Well, a story it's what I've heard. About a noble young man's public humiliation." 

This stirs his interest. Public humiliation implies scandalous affairs. "Pray tell."

"In Idris it is a crime for a man to have relationship with another man. A tall handsome fellow from a rich family, as I was told. He is caught red-handed in some underground brothel. Rumor has it that when the soldiers were there, he was tied up with bloody scars on his back, a man fucking him. A masochist."

A dreadful feeling creeps up his spine. The familiarity... he can't imagine if it is... "And? What happened?"

"And he was arrested and sentenced a humiliation in the central market with a month in prison. The humiliation is mild. But in the prison... tough time, I would say. Barely made it out alive."

"So he lives?" Magnus inquires. He needs to know.

The man sighs. "He survived the prison but there was no place for him anymore. Who would marry their daughters to him and who would be his friends when it attracts unwanted suspicions? He was the eldest and heir of the position. His family was ashamed of him of course. Everyone knew their son was a cocksucker, a slang people in Idris said. Two or three weeks after the release from the prison, the man killed himself."

Magnus is too shocked to speak. He closes his eyes and prays to the angels that it isn't Alexander. No one deserves that. No one. 

He asks with trembling lips. He needs answer. A confirmation. "Do you know his name? Or his family?"

"What is it again?" The old man taps his temple to recall the memory and he slaps on the table when he finds the name. "Lightwood! Yes, I remember that. Poor man. It troubles me there are still places like that. Old-fashioned. Narrow-minded!"

"Hey, are you okay? Have you had too much? You are a lightweight, boy." The man asks when Magnus freezes at the name. The buzzing in his ears. His head goes crazy with the revelation and he can't see a thing in front of him.

"I need some air," he gulps and rushes out of the tavern, leaving his drink and the confused old man behind. Once he is out the cold autumn air hits him. He feels a bit better away from the noise of the crowd. 

Looking up at the moon, he remembers.

The pale skin. The timid smile. The red marks on his body. That one faithful night that changes their life forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After receiving the news from Constantin Film yesterday, I channel my anger into writing this. Therefore, please forgive me for giving them this bad end. I don't deserve to be happy.


End file.
